I should have known when I tooken it on that it would go this way. There are 23 googazillion sections to draw, at least that science knows about right now, and I've drawn, let's see....3. I'd better gird my loins and get down to business. girding.....girding.....oh hell, now I lost my train of thought.

My goal for September is to be a finalist. Step one: find a competition.

Sometimes I feel like I can see right into people. No, not like X-Ray Spex, I gave up on them long ago. One of my first disappointments with advertising. I mean see right into their guts, see the wavering stacks of protoplasm, emotions radiating from them like hair out of lime jello. And I want to put my arm around each of them and say, "you're doing fine, dammit!" And then stick out my foot and trip them. When jello spills out onto the sidewalk, it's almost impossible to pick out all the little things that stick to it. I say almost. In other words, I'm deeply ambivalent about people. My valence fluctuates wildly. My last wife used to accuse me of being a sociopath, and looking at me through one prism, you would agree. But then turn it slightly, and I'm a sobbing blob of... of lime jello. Just like everyone else! I'm just a helping that got out of the bowl, that's all. And you can never go back to the bowl of jello. Don't write to me and tell me it's Jell-o®. What it comes down to is, I've had it up to here with everything and everybody, but I want more of it. Know what I mean? Of course you do. Hey, you want me instead of Ruben? This is what you get. I feel like throwing up. I'm going to put it on my to-do list.

Do you think people should follow their dreams? I don't.

This time it's about Colonial Avenue, which runs right past my abode. On the day I drew most of these, I walked from my house, below 21st Street, up to the end of Colonial, across Mayflower Crescent down to 40th Street near Colley, and then over to Newport, where I caught up with the #11 bus. For you out-of-towners, that's roughly the equivalent of walking from Buffalo to Cleveland. But see, that's what being a true artist is all about. Walking. Lots and lots of walking. Anybody can cut a cow in half or pee on a cross. But walking all the way down Colonial is the sign of a true artist. That, and living in a garret. I sort of live in a garret, even if it isn't up in the air. How high does a garret have to be, anyway? Also, being larger than life helps. I'm not larger than life. I'm still working on being as large as life. I know a few artists who like to think of themselves as larger than life, and, believe me, it's overrated.

... oh yeah, expanding my horizons. I'll put it on my to-do list, how about that? My horizon's expansive enough, thank you, plenty of room for the kinds of creatures who slouch toward Bethlehem to loom on. The bigger the horizon, the more looming goes on, is my experience. And I've had quite enough of that shit. So. I think I'll head for the coffee shop.

Well, folks the last 24 hours has been eventful to say the least. Maybe once I get settled in I will catch you up on whats been going on. But until then "keep a cool tool" LOL.

Ruben

It's like my whole life has shrunk to the exact size and shape of this house. I don't mean I'm confined to the house right now, I mean everything that ever happened to me is in here now. I put my thumb on the kitchen light switch, the one with the smudges and the missing screw on the faceplate, and the whole story of it is right there. Not the memories of the story, the actual events, you know what I mean? I'm 17 and I'm taking that screw to put up a Star Trek clock in my room. And no one in the house sees any need to replace it. And they still don't. I probably sound crazy. I am dizzy, and its hard to tell that from crazy right now. Its like my brain has a screw missing from it's faceplate and it shifts around. It started yesterday. I had to go into that room to get the good suitcase and it kind of put me in a different place. But things are
oops their here. Got to run.

Ruben

I've been stuck in the house with the blinds closed and the lights off for three days now, no food, no friends, no TV, and I say, thank God for my Parakeets. I will miss them a lot.

"What's that smell?" "What's that smell?" "What's that smell?" None of your effing business, that's what!!!

Sometimes things just get the best of me. Things get out of hand. I'm not a violent person, just ask my Mom & Dad. Well, you can't now. Oh, boy. I need to see about my parakeets.

So yesterday I go in to the store, right? And the boss wants to see me first thing. His name is Thomas. Don't ever call him Tom though. It has to be Thomas. That begins to tell you a little bit about the guy. Anyway Thomas wants to go over my sales figures for this month. In April I was Employee of The Month, but does that count for anything? I guess not. I know my sales this month were not that hot. It was mostly because I had a boil on my neck that took two weeks to heal. People don't like to buy major appliances from a guy with a boil on his neck, its that simple. They can't help looking at it and they don't pay attention to the sales pitch I was giving about our products which blow the other guys products out of the water, I really believe that. It's what makes me a good salesman, when I don't have things on my neck that is. Anyway Thomas really lights into me about my low sales and I speak up to defend my self OF COURSE which is my right and one thing leads to another and I kind of blow my top and tell him to kiss my rosy red rectum (I don't usually talk like that but its something my Dad says all the time and it just popped into my mouth) and I slammed the front door and left. Only the door didn't really slam because it has one of those gadgets that make it close slowly no matter how hard you pull and I pulled and pulled and finally gave up. But at least I gave him the finger through the glass with both hands. Now that I'm back home and made three highballs I think I might have gone to far. Now I guess I have to go in and kiss Thomases ass but its the worst thing I can think of in the world to do. This is one of those mornings when I just want to stay in bed all day but I can't afford to.

I'm not sure I should tell this but here goes. Last year I bought a pair of thong underpants with a leopard skin print but I never tried them on. It was kind of a joke to myself. But last night after supper (sloppy joes! yum!) I tried them on in front of the mirror. I thought it might pick up my spirits a little bit. And guess who walked right in my room without knocking? You guessed it! My Mom!!!! I was real embarased because I was trying to look at my butt. I was just curious about what they looked like on me that's all. Well I kind of lost my temper and yelled about being 46 and deserving my own privacy etc. etc. But the worst part of all was my Mom didn't get shocked or angry, she was just laughing. She wouldn't stop laughing. So I had to slam the door.

I have three parakeets Midge, Tweety Bird and Skipper. Parakeets are a lot smarter than you would think. Everybody knows they can say things like Whose a pretty bird but they don't realize the other things you can teach them to do. I'm teaching Skipper to hold a sunflower seed in his beak and not eat it until I say he can. I haven't had any luck yet but I know he can do it. I used to have Max but he excaped through a hole in the screen door that I keep putting off. Every night before I go to bed I go out in the back yard and call him just in case but no luck yet.

I get a lot of ribbing from the guys down at the store about still living with my Mom & Dad. But until that special lady comes along its nice to have some company. And the food is good!!

Ruben

When people walk right past you and pretend they don't know you I think it says more about them than it does about you. That's the way I see it at least.

Ruben

Sometimes when I feel like I am in a "rut", I will make a change to my daily routine. A couple of weeks ago I started shaving before my shower instead of after. But I had to switch back to showering first then shaving because of skin irritation. But just that little change in my routine gave me a fresher outlook for a little while. This was more like a month ago now that I think about it. Anyways, this morning I ate my breakfast cereal without milk just for a change. It was very dry. I am not sure if I will do it again tomorrow. But not knowing makes the day more interesting I think. I might have a glass of milk now because my throat sure feels dry and scratchy! But I think it still counts.

Ruben

It looks like I am back online. I had my friend from work whose kind of the computer expert fix things. Well, you didn't miss anything. It was a quiet weekend in Iowa City. It sure was hot though. Even though we have a new whole house air conditioner that keeps it pretty cool inside I still have to go out for this or that. For example I forgot to put up the garden hose yesterday and I wanted to get it put away before somebody tripped over it. So I went out there in the heat and boy was it hot! But that's the summer time for you. I hope we have a cool September. Well, until next time.

Ruben

I know what you're saying to yourself: This guy needs to expand his horizins. And I answer thusly: Why should I listen to you? You can't even spell "horizons"! And your comeback would probably be: Interior monologues don't have spelling, asshole! To which I would retort: How dare you call me an asshole on my own blog, you wanker! And you'd answer: I'm not calling you anything! You're making all this up in your own head! What is your problem? At which point, I would just shake my head in wonder at the capricious nature of people.