MY ARTIST'S STATEMENT
Thursday, November 10, 2011 at 10:46PM 
I think artist’s statements should be illegal. In my opinion, they’re a kind of hate speech. Anyone who knowingly places such drivel in the path of naive unsuspecting white-as-the-driven-snow eyeballs such as mine, knowing full well that the visual ingestation of such foul, pestilential verbiage would cause my optic nerve to shrivel up as if it were a penis being plunged into ice water must be of malevolent intent. The other day I bought a copy of New American Paintings, a publication which proved to contain the same ratio of good work to self-indulgent merde as any other human endeavor. Each featured artist was represented by three pieces, followed by a brief CV and then--shudder--an artist’s statement. And every single one of those artist’s statements, regardless of the quality of the art that preceded it, was a prime example of self-important, art-cliche-ridden twaddle. You think I’m kidding? Take a gander at these:
“I create paint forms that seemingly grow wild and move free. The cultivated forms are transplanted into paintings, developing a physical 3D plane of illusion within the 2D picture field. My technique, process and forms create dynamic tension and balance. The culmination of my work explores the landscape of color space while highlighting the relationship between improvisation and control.”
“There is a quiet beauty in my paintings that is deceiving. Over time and with careful viewing, the work raises questions about longevity, the consequences of human behavior, and differences in cultural or national attitudes.”
“My work scrutinizes the aesthetic mitigation that often camouflages humanity’s dependence on nature.”
“Through the economical use of line, color, texture, size, and the illusion of light and space, I create a visual dialogue between the painted surface and its substrate. The resonance of this interaction is at once expansively mysterious and intimately familiar.”
“Similar to fusion or hip-hop, my works lift and sample in order to understand the processes of re-appropriation. My understanding of art as an emancipatory force leads me to believe that, by re-contextualizing these visual stereotypes...their meaning can be dismantled and broken loose from fixed identities.”
You get the idea. Just once I’d like to see an artist’s statement that went like this:
“I make these paintings in hopes that hot women will think I’m cool. I want everybody to think I’m cool, but mostly hot women. And I hope some of you will buy this stuff because I’d much rather be painting than mowing the grass on interstate medians. Thank you.”
Reader Comments (16)
And sometimes a pretty cloud is just a pretty cloud and not a metaphor for seventeen failed relationships and the plight of the American Indian.
OMG, can I hear a big AMEN sister to that! I am asked regularily to supply my artist's statement. Can you imagine? WTF? I paint clouds....and water...and sometimes spooky trees. And I like grayish-green and van dyke brown. Just buy the fucker.
I don't go to art galleries anymore. Those things scare me.
Beyond wonderful! Thank you for saying in public what all of us who have ever had to provide an artist's statement have said in private.
One reason I've never had a gallery exhibit is to avoid having to write one of the damn things. The other is, I've never been asked.
As artists hate doing them and viewers avoid reading them, why are they there?
Will you stage a demonstration?
I have been, for years, but nobody noticed.
I would have thought convicted felons all chained together would be the ideal people to mow interstate medians; are poorly selling artisans really required to do that sort of thing in the USA?
Seriously though, I think we can blame the art academies for turning out graduates who are unable to write about their work clearly -- and for even insisting on the necessity for the garb.
Artists ought to have somebody like Saul Goodman (in Breaking Bad) to solve all their problems like promotion and marketing.
Don't beat around the bush now
Briefly: This is why artists are artists and not writers. :-)
However, you, in fact, are a wonderfully entertaining writer...the best of both worlds.
Thanks for being you.
:-)
I hate it when a statement claims the work "raises questions". I kind of think a work of art should answer some questions. Maybe that's just too much work.
Yes. These things always make me gag.
BRAVO and AMEN.
couldn't agree more. Isn't an artists statement his work? If that doesn't speak then no amount of words is going to help...same goes for film critics, music critics, etc etc
Garage Equipment, I would think seriously about changing your handle. It makes you look like a spammer, i.e., a worthless human being, and I'm sure you don't want that to be your legacy.