TEN THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT PEOPLE WHO MAKE LISTS
Monday, May 18, 2009 at 10:53AM 
Well, that was certainly uncharitable of me, wasn't it? List-making people are no different from you or me, after all--NO! Don't you believe it! Listmakers by definition think they know more than the rest of us. What the world needs is more humility, not more hubris. Hitler was a listmaker, did you know that? Sure, we all know he was a vegetarian, from that list that circulated several years ago, Ten Things You Didn't Know About Hitler, but few know he was an inveterate listmaker. And let me tell you, reading one of his lists would make you drop some fruit in your looms (I got that from 25 Cute Ways To Describe Pooping.)
Okay. Deep breath. If you're a listmaker, I'm sorry I compared you to Hitler. That might have been a tad too much. It's just that I can't stand to be hectored. Hectoring and badgering, don't like them. #3, poking. Can't stand to be poked. Let's see, #4...
Reader Comments (13)
I save myself tons of Internet time by never reading any article that starts with "X number of things about..."
How about all those brainless books: A bezillion things to do/places to visit/people to meet before you die?
-a waste of tree pulp, if you ask me
But how did you read this?
I only send hectoring lists to myself – and they never work – I still don't get anything done
We got the word "hectoring" from Hector, a character in the Trojan Wars.
And "Achilles heel" was from another Trojan. Or Greek. Look it up.
And "The Face That Launched A Thousand Ships"? Helen of Troy.
I could make a list...
You know, when I match up this hand-writing with the hand-writing of the ASSHOLE who is holding my kidnapped gerbil for $1,000,000 ransom, it is unfuckingcannily alike. Fortunately, Ojai's finest, the "police", have lately replaced the word "brutal" with unfuckingcanny.
Drunk? Why, you're a madman to even suggest it!
I'd take positive flipping umbrage if you weren't a wierdo. But I've alway been taught not to mock the afflicted. Or was that the inflected? Dammit. Wish I'd paid attention in flection class. Now I don't know whether to like the Germans. Or indeed Japanese. Am I making unecessary correlations? Oh. Oh dear me.
Grammatical Inflections - The Doom Of Man's Soul! Which of you will argue against it?
None?
Flipping doog.
Obviously I mean "flipping good". I despise people who get the wrong end of the stcik through their profligate drunken blogging! I DETHPITHE them!
Than you for the forum on that, Wallers.
You took the "What Kind Of Blemish Am I?" test on Facebook?
Oh, Walter.
Some things you can't take back.
Unfuckingcannily unfuckingcanny, some things methinks are best left just as they are, in an unfuckingcaninely sort of way!
I love the Germans now they've stopped bombing and straffing us, they don't even mind if you mention the war. And the one who's as good as my daughter-in-law never fails to make me laugh. Like the Scottish being mean myth, the Germans lacking a sense of humour myth couldn't be further from the truth (unsure though of the distances involved).
Oh and Latte they use as slang for erection btw, so if you happen to find yourself in Hamburg, be warned.
The #1 reason to make lists is to sell magazines, silly.
I just love these list games. Play more!
Drunken blogging is a bad idea.