BERNICE IS BIG
Tuesday, February 17, 2009 at 03:37PM 
Look at those hind feet, will ya?
Yes, my back is still fucked up, and I wish I believed in God so I could shake my fist at Him and aim foul curses in His general direction, which I imagine to be skyward, as do we all, which is testimony to the paucity of our imagination. For all we know, He resides in a discarded Spam can by the side of route 30 on the outskirts of Lisbon, Ohio. Or maybe He claims on His tax forms a residence in a dimension not yet discovered by us, loony string theorists notwithstanding. Or maybe He chooses to take on the outward appearance of a buxom real estate agent in Vandalia, Illinois, who uses too much hairspray and drinks too many Cosmopolitans and has bad breath, and who dares all Christians to love her. Or maybe He's just all beings and things and everything's fine. Which is closer to what I think I believe but it doesn't give me much to shake my fist at. There's a lesson in there somewhere, but I refuse to learn it.
Reader Comments (11)
Oh, Bernice is tucky-toeing. That means she is happy and loves you very, very, much.
She looks so much like Boo, only without the razor sharp dagger pointies and hissy bits.
Back problems. I hear ya. Google Dr. John Sarno PDQ. Crazy shit but he saved me from surgery and a life of back suffering. I am his disciple. Don't laugh. Just open your mind.
Since you are God, you could shake your fist at yourself and save the bus fare. Or, since your fist is also God, you could just hold it up and aim foul curses directly at it. Preferably in public.
I think this is my favorite banner ever.
Many years ago Buffy Saint-Marie wrote a song called God is Alive, Magic is Afoot. Half way through she suddenly sings, God is a foot. But which one? There are millions of feet out there and one of them is God? Imagine if you tread on someone's foot while waiting in line somewhere and that particular one is God - how many lifetimes in the third circle of Hell would that earn you?
Silly. God is Alan Rickman
I knew it!
Now you've gone and ruined Alan Rickman for me! I used to love him!
I have seen God
http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f137/terencebeck/Blog/Football/robbiefowler_god.jpg
^ failed link
http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f137/
terencebeck/Blog/Football/robbiefowler
Last try-
http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/
f137/terencebeck/Blog/Football/
robbiefowler_god.jpg
I've had 3 tuxedo kitties in my time. Smarties