Is it any wonder that my meteoric rise up the corporate ladder into the cecum of materialist hog heaven has never, um, materialized? My notes always seem to come up short in the getting-things-done department. What's the matter here? It's not as if the lame brains who make it to the Top have cornered the market on gray matter, to judge from the idiotic self-help books they write for even lamer brains farther down the ladder, books full of "duh" & "ya think?" potentiators, not that I read the damn things, I'm just going by the small glimpses I get of these guys on talk shows as I leap for the remote. The poor saps who swallow this stuff are about as likely to join the lame brains as the brand new Amway distributors are to gain a seat amid the plastic palms in the latest look-upon-me-and-quake-you-scum infomercial. And what is it all in aid of? We yearn, we hunger, we salivate, we tumesce, we want, we want, we want, we want. Ah, that felt good.