OVERHEARD

Some kind of lady business going on in the next booth. And I mean ladies, not women, so you can't call me sexist. Ladies are a subculture totally apart from biology. Ladies wear flowery dresses and powder their faces, which are usually settled into expressions of mild vexation, and more often than can be adequately explained will have hair like poodles.And they complain a lot. If three or more are gathered at a restaurant, at least one of them will fuss about her food. "These are sea scallops, not bay scallops!" Oh, that reminds me, we had some friends in New Jersey, a gentleman and a lady, but she was a nice lady, kind of scatterbrained, and we met her coming out of a restaurant, and she had a scallop on her bosom. A whole scallop! And I got to say, "Charlotte, you've got a scallop on your bosom." I doubt if I'll ever get an opportunity to say that again. Life is full of small gifts.

Comments

[Zoe]

I once saw one on a penis

[cootiegarage]

Oh, how lucky you were! that must have felt wonderful!

[Sparky]

Cootie, I hope you're addressing me and not Zoe.

[Dan Collins]

My son Brendan got a kitten and named it King Arthur, and declined the opportunity to rename him when it turned out it was her. So I got to say, "King Arthur is pregnant," when I found out that was so.

It must have been a great shock to Guinevere.

[Sparky]

It's moments like that that keep you going.

[jimmy]

I once saw a scallop in Ann Althouse's wine. Or maybe it was Ann Althouse.

[Sparky]

Don't you try to suck me into the Althouse vortex!

[JR]

Makes me think of "Little Britain". The Brits do "lady" differently, yet no less well, I think.

[Sparky]

Nobody does "lady" like the Brits.

[Sparky]

I know that last comment was pointless, but I discovered that if I comment on everyone else's comments, then my comments total doubles! And that puts me one step closer to the final round, where I have to sing a show tune. I'm thinking about "Tomorrow" from "Annie".

[Deb]

Better yet, "Tomorrow" from The "King and I".