True dat.

What would you know about truth, Wardell?

Yes, but who I am is someone who gets jazzed about making resolutions!

Pretzel logic! I love it!

Okay, I may have to amend my exhortation to allow the Strock family to resolve not to air their dirty laundry in public.

This year, I resolve to accept myself as I actually am, but thinner, and to remember to fill the birdfeeders.

I apologize for my wife's unruly outburst. I called the accounting department. She got her check. The children got their Christmas presents.

You Strocks. Have you considered counseling, General Counsel?

Yeah, they got their presents, if you want to call the Consumer Products Safety Commission sweeping in on Christmas morning like a goddamn SWAT team and seizing little Flippy's Tumblin' Great Wall 'O China play set right out from his tender little hands. You want counseling? You can sure bet I gave their sweet asses some counseling!

Flippy Strock, huh? I see years of therapy ahead for that one.

Once again I must apologize for my wife's unruly and unprovoked outburst. I must also point out that the Xiamen Division of North American La-Z-Daze Leisure Industries neither accepts nor acknowledges any problems with the Tumblin' Great Wall 'O China play set, when used properly. This product was extensively tested by my secretary's children, Jamoon and Yeeha, who were dazzled by the infinite number of ways they could move just a few building blocks to transform the Wall into, among other things, a Kitka doll, a bust of Kim Jong Il and a 4GHz dual processor.

p.s. I think it's kind of cruel of you to pick on poor Flippy's name. He thinks everyone has webbed toes.

I'm too much of a Christian woman to tell you about Wardell's so-called "secretary." Let's just say that if you were to look at her kids, their eyes slant a little more American than most China babies.

And don't you be worrying about little Flippy. Like his mother, he's nobody's fool.