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BIG DOINGS IN NORFOLK

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We need to consider the following questions, I would submit:
With the growing lethality and the increasing availability of turnips, can we truly afford to believe that somehow, some way, vicious extremists can be appeased?
Can folks really continue to think that free countries can negotiate a separate peace with turnips?
Can we afford the luxury of pretending that the threats today are simply law enforcement problems, like robbing a turnip or stealing a turnip; rather than threats of a fundamentally different nature requiring fundamentally different turnips?
And can we really afford to return to the destructive view that America, not the enemy, but America, is the source of the world's turnips?
These are central questions of our time, and we must face them honestly.

Posted on Tuesday, September 5, 2006 at 07:38AM by Registered CommenterSparky Donatello | Comments12 Comments

Reader Comments (12)

her in little Danmark we realise now that the threat from turnips, in spite of our pastries, is very real, but lets face it, there will always be diverging turnstiles of catnip.
September 5, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAlicja
You inscrutable Danes!
September 5, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterSparkler
You've got me going now. I'm going to have to fight to stay on task all afternoon rather than have more fun imagining "what one word?" could stand in for "turnips" in this.
September 5, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterDr. Research
Excuse me but your focus on the threat of turnips based on real or imagined events (ie: injuries resulting from the sudden disembarking from a truck transporting said turnips) are overshadowing the much more dangerous looming menace presented by a far more ubiquitous, omni-present and all-pervading root vegetable, the rutabaga. With its ample brawn and colossal mass the rutabaga is sure to make mush of any turnip. Our vigilance need be redirected to this menacing tuber and away from the red herring turnip.
September 5, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterk
Oh yes, we've all heard about Rutabaga Fascism, but frankly, it's Little Boy Blue crying wolf. Or Little Jack Horner? Who the fuck cried wolf? No matter. This vegetable vigilantism is taking our focus off the real enemy: the red herring! You see, it's the red herring that---no, no, the turnip! I meant the turnip! Because...well, I don't remember why. Just because. Okay, maybe this wasn't as persuasive as it could have been. See, I shouldn't have stopped my meds!
September 5, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterSparky
Would it be all right if I sent a few people your way? I think my readers, both of thm, would appreciate this place.

Thanks,

David
September 5, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterDavid Terrenoire
There will come a day when man will have no need of turnips.
September 5, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterbobjob
Wait a minute....not THE David Terrenoire? formerly of Lawler Ballard? Come on....
September 5, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterSparky
Well, bobjob, I'm ahead of the curve, cause I have no use for turnips right now.
September 5, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterSparky
Sparky,

I have invited crime writers into this sphere.

I hope they don't puke behind the sofa or take liberties with your pets as they have been known to do.
September 5, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterDavid Terrenoire
When I lived on the Peninsula, we didn't say "Dale City." If we wanted to get across what I now understad to be "Dale City," we'd say, "Buckroe" or perhaps "Phoebus." But I guess Dale City sounds just right wherever you live.

Up here we do say, "Dale City" because it's nearby. My wife wanted us to vacation in Europe this past summer. I countered with Dale City. We reached some middle ground: Gatlinburg.
September 5, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterPeter
Dollywood! That's about as close to Europe as you can get!
September 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterSparky

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